A Tribute to the Greatest Punk Band that (kinda sorta) Never Was!

posted Feb 13, 2012, 10:01 PM by Jeremy Fowler-Lindemulder   [ updated Feb 28, 2019, 7:13 AM ]
Posted by Fugli - January 23rd, 2012
This is a print of the cover for the album that never was. Pre-CD, it was a 12 inch pic

My second year in the Middle Earth Dorms came with a bit more pressure, not academically, but socially. For some reason I was railroaded into being in charge of the annual Lorien Haunted House. (We survived – but I dropped a class, and kept skipping another, to do it.) What were we thinking? On top of that there was no way to top our exiting show at Cafe Brandywine offering of the Lorien Rag from the previous year. I was still getting random comments on it from people I didn’t even know. “Hey, weren’t you the guy who sang that song?” We had set our bar, and I couldn’t see a way over it.

Avast! Evidently, to show "wood" must have been offensive.

Never underestimate the influence of a random creative element (or a flammable accelerant). I was rooming up in 201B that year with Steve E, and I don’t even remember what the conversation was about, but it was probably about random chords, distortion, and punk rock. Anyway, I hit a simple three chord power riff over and over to illustrate some point, and our neighbor, Mike (the Freshman), dropped into a crouch and screamed, “SCUM!” I kept playing, and the next time around he screamed, “SLIME!” We were amused until the third time he Screamed “SAGA!.” Then we lost it in laughter.

Here is where I need to mention that S. A. G. A. was the Stuart Anderson Gourmet Association (aka the Soviet Attempt to Gag America), our cafeteria food service – which we used to blame all our woes upon. Bad test score? Well, you should have seen what they were serving for lunch, man!

And thus was born the Punk Band of Sensory Neglect! (Can you tell I was taking a psychology class at the time?) This band would hit everyone’s buttons so hard they couldn’t do anything but laugh. We would become every parent’s worst nightmare, the dregs of the music industry; we’d do it poorly, and we’d turn around and endorse the very things we detested. And so, I sat down from Mike’s beginnings and wrote the absolute worst song that I could. It was golden.

Someone out there has some post Cafe Brandywine pictures, but it’s not me, sigh.

The original Band Members were myself as Epsilon Minus (a Brave New World Reference for a new wave look) playing my old Electra MPC Outlaw guitar and dressed all in black (of course) with aT-shirt, bell bottoms and leather boots complemented by black wrap glasses and black lipstick.
Steve was Captain Cacophony, in Adam Ant-ish garb, complete with makeup, a beauty mark, and a full beard (very disconcerting). We gave him a single rhythm and a tenor drum that we liberated for a night or so from somewhere in the band department.
Jim (BOB), with his baby face, was James Mean, dressed in leather, denim, studs, and spikes with dark shades and some sort of dead baby doll handcuffed to him. There were some old upright pianos in the dorms, which he played.
Our front man was Mike or Mickey Mouth, who was all over the map. He dressed in bright green shoes and short shorts, and we stuck a noose around his neck (we had practice tying them during the Haunted House). What most people noticed, however, was his head. I took a skin head wig and shoved nails up through it to form a mohawk. Then I took some of that really cool telephone wire (the stuff they used to use with the bright stripes in different colors) and wire wrapped the nails like a fence, making springs and things shooting off his head. he also had no ears ounce the wig was latexed in place.

I don’t know what people expected, but at Cafe Brandywine 1983 they kinda went nuts when we came in, and even though Mike forgot the words half way through, they loved it. They apparently thought that was part of the act, and Jim and the rest of us just kept playing our “extended version” until Mike remembered.

I got called in to the housing office the next day. Oh no? What did we do now? I didn’t remember breaking anything or actually causing a riot, but someone from that very office had once told me that we had a reputation. He had said that we were usually very quiet, and then something would happen, and fingers would point our way. They never proved anything, and personally, I think we got more “credit” than was our due. we were all pretty clean cut, just off the wall. (Phil, don’t tell them about the flaming paper airplanes).

Anyway, I got called into the office, but not for trouble. They wanted an Encore for the top on campus housing staff. the problem was, we all had classes when they wanted the performance. Plus, there was no way I was gonna get Mike into that head gear again (I had shaved his neck – for his own good – when I put it on the first time.)

As it was, three of us cut class to perform, and we got Gina to Front for us as Hairy Deborah in bright green spandex, fishnet stocking and banana holsters. This end is offered as an explanation as to why Mike is not the voice we ended up recording. The original “live” recording evidently was garbage… So, we just sealed ourselves in a room for a brief while with a cassette recorder and then went to KUCI for the vocals. We never got it perfect, but then, it was funnier that way.

Real Meat – Sensory Neglect

Sensory Neglect remained a background idea for some time to come, but I moved across campus to an apartment the next year and only brought the group together a couple of times. To our credit, SAGA was no longer the food campus food service the next year, but that was probably just because they were underbid by Servomation.

Oh, and the “Spinal Tap” movie came out the next year – which I consider a coincidence.

I later remember that Dave Godwin (Davy Moans) played with us on a pink noise generator (think digital fart sound machine) that we put together (we called the RUDE). We had a song about Wally George (portrayed with us by Phil). Wally seems to be gone now too.

There was some other stuff I put together over the next few years, but nothing tops Real Meat.